Prepare Enough
This message is for the the planners and dreamers who overthink everything, for the people who want the details step by step on how to do something the right and best way the very first time. Hmm sounds a lot like someone I used to know...ME! Ha!
I must say that preparation was one of my favorite things to do. Especially as a second generation Asian-American woman with immigrant parents, I learned very quick that a lot of things can and do go 'wrong' or simply not as planned. So I was good at preparing for every single situation that I could imagine, plan a backup plan anytime, anywhere, and in any situation. I think my culture and environment taught me that I needed to be "ready" to take the next step or any step really. And while there is some real and helpful truth to that, I interpreted it as believing that I would be totally lost or helpless if I did not plan to the T.
And then life happened. I got married and felt unprepared for what it entailed even though I thought I had prepared all that I could have. Then, I had kids with childbirths that did not go as planned (anyone else?) and let me just say that all the books and classes I took did not prepare me for it. Even as a therapist, there are still some days that I doubt how "ready" I am for what is happening in the particular season. Yet, marrying my husband and having my two kids were some of my best decisions of my life. I definitely wasn't "ready" for them, yet being married and being a mom MADE me ready to be the wife I wanted to be and the mother I continue to strive to be for my kids.
I don't typically disclose this much on my professional page, but I really want to focus on the reality that there will be a lot of things in this life that you will not be prepared or "ready" for. Sometimes, you need to take that step of faith believing that you can and will be able to figure it out wherever you are. And even if you don't, it won't be the end of the world. Your situation will teach you more than you can ever prepare for. Prepare enough, but know that you will need to take that step of vulnerability. What are you waiting for?
Hatty J. Lee, LMFT (she/her) is an Asian American licensed marriage and family therapist and brainspotting practitioner who has been practicing for 14 years in community mental health settings, schools, and private practice virtually across California and in-person in Los Angeles and Pasadena, California. As the founder and clinical director of a group practice called Oak and Stone Therapy in Los Angeles, CA, she trains clinicians and supports people to deepen their relationship with themselves and the most important people in their lives. She writes about mental health on her Instagram and is the co-author of The Indwell Guide that integrates visual storytelling, mental health education, and practical tools to support people to heal and thrive.
