Happiness is Overrated
So many of us have rigid and limited views of happiness and we work our lives around striving after it, being disappointed for not experiencing it, failing to achieve that euphoric state of mind we believe so many other people live in 24 hours a day, and blaming ourselves for not attaining it. It is quite an unhappy and frustrating journey trying to get happy if anyone asks me 🤷.
Happiness is a momentary and fleeting experience. It is not a state of being nor a state of mind. .
Something more worthwhile pursuing in life is peace of mind. It is this steady thread that keeps us aligned to our values, beliefs, and truths. It provides comfort and emotional security in the face of hardship or ordinariness. Don't tell yourself (or anyone else) to be happy when you are grieving the loss of a relationship, when a family member is dealing with a chronic medical condition, when you are at risk of losing your job or you are miserable at your workplace, or when you are depressed and battling loneliness. We can be encouraged with good intention and be pushed to heal or get through the hard part to happiness too quickly before we are ready.
Instead, seek inner peace which helps us to accept the situation, grieve the loss and the hurt, feel the emotions and explore what is driving them, acknowledge that you are not okay, admit that you need help, and power through whatever you are going through without requiring it has a happy ending. What's getting in the way of your inner peace?
Hatty J. Lee, LMFT (she/her) is an Asian American licensed marriage and family therapist and brainspotting practitioner who has been practicing for 14 years in community mental health settings, schools, and private practice virtually across California and in-person in Los Angeles and Pasadena, California. As the founder and clinical director of a group practice called Oak and Stone Therapy in Los Angeles, CA, she trains clinicians and supports people to deepen their relationship with themselves and the most important people in their lives. She writes about mental health on her Instagram and is the co-author of The Indwell Guide that integrates visual storytelling, mental health education, and practical tools to support people to heal and thrive.
