Discontentment
Ever find yourself looking outside where the grass appears greener on the other side? There are times when it really is and our discontentment can help us move into a more meaningful direction in life and relationships, but if your discontentment has been an ongoing repetitive experience that causes problems for you it may be worth exploring some possible projections that may be taking place.
We may sometimes find ourselves placing our own unhappiness with ourselves onto external situations (i.e. career, living environment) and people (i.e. partner, friends, family, community groups). We may find ourselves relying on perfecting our external environment to soothe a deeper discontentment within us. The problem becomes noticeable when we finally step outside where the grass is greener and the intial high of the newness of the change in environment settles in, and the same discontentment resurfaces once again. We realize the idealized green grass that initally looked so good begins to lose some of its shine over time like it did on the other side. We learn that it requires consistent nourishing, trimming, watering, and hard work to keep it growing and fresh.
We sometimes need to nurture our current grass field and deepen our connection to the people we care about within it with consistency, some trims, good nutrients, and hard work. The fruit of contentment, deep connection with people around us, and inner peace is right around the corner. Hang in there, but also discern when it is time to move to other grassfields too.
Hatty J. Lee, LMFT (she/her) is an Asian American licensed marriage and family therapist and brainspotting practitioner who has been practicing for 14 years in community mental health settings, schools, and private practice virtually across California and in-person in Los Angeles and Pasadena, California. As the founder and clinical director of a group practice called Oak and Stone Therapy in Los Angeles, CA, she trains clinicians and supports people to deepen their relationship with themselves and the most important people in their lives. She writes about mental health on her Instagram and is the co-author of The Indwell Guide that integrates visual storytelling, mental health education, and practical tools to support people to heal and thrive.
