The New Norm

An abnormal response to an abnormal situation is normal behavior. - Victor Frankl

Trauma is the REACTION to an event/situation/circumstances that overwhelms our ability to process our experience, cope adaptively with difficult feelings, feel the full range of emotions and experiences, and embody our full sense of self. It has less to do with the actual situation, and more to do with the reaction or experience.

So you might be thinking that you haven't really experienced something "traumatic". You still have a job or a savings account for a rainy day. You don't know anyone who is sick or have died. "Nothing" big has happened that would explain what you are experiencing. You are enjoying the privilege of slowing down and being home. You are still connecting with people. Yet despite all these things, you might be wondering why you still feel so disconnected, unsure of what is happening within you and outside of you, unmotivated, and/or "off".

And then there are others of you who are experiencing the distress of the current situation. Worrying about your health and the health of loved ones. Maybe you are an essential worker and feeling the stress of the responsibility you have. Maybe you have lost your job and feeling highly anxious about your future. Maybe you might know someone who is sick or has died from COVID-19 or any other condition which has gotten buried by the current situation. Maybe you are experiencing the loneliness of social distancing. Maybe you are watching others seemingly enjoy this period of social distancing while you are feeling pretty miserable with where you are at. Maybe the current situation is intensifying issues that were already present before COVID-19...

If you are experiencing yourself differently and having any of the combination of these experiences with the current situation with COVID-19, it is absolutely normal. Our world has completely changed over night, and we are all trying to make sense of it suddenly. .

You are not broken.  Something is not wrong with you.  You are having an understandable reaction to a collective traumatic experience.  And you are definitely not alone in experiencing this.

Hatty J. Lee, LMFT (she/her) is an Asian American licensed marriage and family therapist and brainspotting practitioner who has been practicing for 14 years in community mental health settings, schools, and private practice virtually across California and in-person in Los Angeles and Pasadena, California. As the founder and clinical director of a group practice called Oak and Stone Therapy in Los Angeles, CA, she trains clinicians and supports people to deepen their relationship with themselves and the most important people in their lives. She writes about mental health on her Instagram and is the co-author of The Indwell Guide that integrates visual storytelling, mental health education, and practical tools to support people to heal and thrive.