Rest That Restores
We all need and deserve rest. I am not (just) talking about taking a nap or sleeping in to rest our physical bodies, but the kind of rest our emotional, relational, psychological, and spiritual bodies need for the journey of life we all find ourselves in.
Rest often gets confused with escape in my experience. Rest is about alignment and attuning to our needs, while escape is a coping mechanism that attempts to temporarily avoid without responding to our needs. How do we tell the difference? I think exploring our motivations, feelings, and experiences with our form of 'rest' can be very informative of whether we are getting the rest that our bodies need and deserve.
Some examples:
Physical rest such as sleeping can be very nourishing to our bodies, but sometimes it can be a form of escape particularly when we might be 'oversleeping' to disconnect from our pain leaving us feeling shame and even more drained.
Letting ourselves enjoy the simple pleasures of life such as watching our favorite T.V. show or going on vacation can be very restful particularly when we've been so focused on being so productive, but it can also be a form of escape from reality by avoiding to deal with our painful emotions, conflict, or stress.
Unplugging from the outside world can be very restful especially when coupled with connecting with ourselves, others, our truths, and the things that are meaningful for us. But sometimes, we can unplug from ourselves and numb our feelings in our process too which can be very damaging to ourselves and the people we care about.
The particular activities we engage in is not as important as the impact they have on us. If we are finding ourselves experiencing the consequences of 'escape', it may be time that we explore ways that we can experience true rest that restores us, energizes us, inspires growth within us, and deepens peace and our connection with ourselves, our purpose, our values, what truly matters, and with the people we care about the most.
Hatty J. Lee, LMFT (she/her) is an Asian American licensed marriage and family therapist and brainspotting practitioner who has been practicing for 14 years in community mental health settings, schools, and private practice virtually across California and in-person in Los Angeles and Pasadena, California. As the founder and clinical director of a group practice called Oak and Stone Therapy in Los Angeles, CA, she trains clinicians and supports people to deepen their relationship with themselves and the most important people in their lives. She writes about mental health on her Instagram and is the co-author of The Indwell Guide that integrates visual storytelling, mental health education, and practical tools to support people to heal and thrive.
